SONGS: Big Smoochie/The Makeup Song/All
Into Family/I Love My Muffin/Bloody
Beaver/She's Gonna Nag Me Into The Grave/His Daddy Was A Hunter/Bloody
Beaver Blues/Redneck Mafia/Theme For A Redneck Canadian
(Instrumental)/Redneck Canadian
All
music
composed
and
performed
by
Eric
Myers
Produced by Eric Myers
Vocals and lyrics by Larry
Graves, except "His Daddy Was A Hunter" vocals and lyrics by Deb Graves.
LYRICS
BIG
SMOOCHIE
I
GOT
A
GIRL
WHO'S
THE
LOVE
OF
MY
LIFE TALKIN'
BOUT
MY
DOG,
NOT
MY
WIFE UNLIKE
THAT
BITCH,
SHE
CAUSES
ME
NO
STRIFE BIG
SMOOCHIE FOR
MY
POOCHIE
SHE
PROTECTS
ME
WHEREVER
I
GO SOME
PLACES
MY
WIFE
DON'T
EVEN
KNOW AND
THE
WAY
SHE
NIBBLES
ON
MY
TOE BIG
SMOOCHIE FOR
MY
POOCHIE
I
LOVE
THAT
GIRL
WITH
ALL
OF
MY
HEART EXCEPT
MAYBE
WHEN
SHE'S
GOTTA
FART THAT'S
THE
ONLY
TIME
I
WISH
WE
WERE
APART BIG
SMOOCHIE FOR
MY
POOCHIE
SHE'S
GOT
FLEAS
BUT
I
GOT
THEM
TOO AS
FOR
MY
WIFE
IF
SHE
ONLY
KNEW I'D
RATHER
EAT
DOG
FOOD
THEN
HER
DANG
STEW BIG
SMOOCHIE FOR
MY
POOCHIE
I
GOT
OTHER
CRITTERS
BUT
NOTHING
COMPARES SCREW
THE
PIGS,
SHEEP
AND
ALL
THE
MARES I
LOVE
MY
DOG
SO
MUCH
EVERYONE
STARES BIG
SMOOCHIE FOR
MY
POOCHIE
SHE
JUST
TURNED
FIFTEEN
YEARS
OLD
TODAY "LET
HER
LIVE
FOREVER"
I
ALWAYS
PRAY IF
YOU
TAKE
ANYONE,
TAKE
MY
WIFE
AWAY BIG
SMOOCHIE FOR
MY
POOCHIE
THE
MAKEUP
SONG
I
ASKED
HER
LAST
NIGHT
FOR
THE
VERY
FIRST
TIME AND
I
MUST
HAVE
BEEN
RIGHT
OUT
OF
MY
MIND NOW
I'LL
BE
PAYING
A
VERY
HIGH
PRICE
INDEED ESPECIALLY
WHEN
SEX
IS
WHAT
I
NEED
WHY
DON'T
YOU
EVER
WEAR
MAKE
UP IT
MIGHT
EVEN
MAKE
YOU
LOOK
PRETTY CAUSE
EVEN
IN
THE
DARKNESS
OF
NIGHT YOU
SURE
DO
LOOK
PRETTY
SHITTY
OUR
LOVE
WAS
NEVER
THE
SAME
AFTER
THAT I
THINK
I
MIGHT
HAVE
EVEN
SAID
SHE
WAS
FAT I'M
IN
THE
DOGHOUSE
NOW
FOR
THE
REST
OF
MY
LIFE JUST
FOR
PUTTIN'
DOWN
MY
UGLY
FAT
WIFE
WHY
DON'T
YOU
EVER
WEAR
MAKE
UP IT
MIGHT
EVEN
MAKE
YOU
LOOK
PRETTY CAUSE
EVEN
IN
THE
DARKNESS
OF
NIGHT YOU
SURE
DO
LOOK
PRETTY
SHITTY
NOW
SHE
WANTS
ME
BACK
IN
HER
LOVING
ARMS I
THINK
IT
HAS
SOMETHING
TO
DO
WITH
MY
CHARMS I'LL
NEVER
SAY
NOTHING
MORE
ABOUT
THE
WAY
SHE'S
LOOKING BUT
I
STILL
MIGHT
COMPLAIN
ABOUT
HER
AWFUL
COOKING
WHY
DON'T
YOU
EVER
WEAR
MAKE
UP IT
MIGHT
EVEN
MAKE
YOU
LOOK
PRETTY CAUSE
EVEN
IN
THE
DARKNESS
OF
NIGHT YOU
SURE
HAVE
A
REAL
PRETTY
KITTY
ALL
INTO
FAMILY
UP
HERE
IN
THE
COUNTRY WAY
OUT
IN
THE
STICKS WE
DONT
THINK
MUCH
OF
STRANGERS FOR
THEY
ALL
CALL
US
HICKS THERES
MA
AND
PA
AND
GRAMPY GRANDMA
AND
SISTER
PRU UNCLES
AUNTS
AND
COUSINS YEAH,
THEY
ALL
LIVE
HERE
TOO WE
ALL
PLAY
TOGETHER IN
OUR
BACKWOODS
COUNTRY
BAND ERIC
PLAYS
GUITAR WHILE
GRAMPY
CLAPS
HIS
HANDS
HERE
IN
REDNECK
COUNTRY WAY
BACK
IN
THE
HILLS WE'RE
ALL
INTO
FAMILY THATS
HOW
WE
GETS
OUR
THRILLS
MY
FAVOURITE
COUSIN'S
LUCY I
THINKS
SHE
LIKES
ME
TOO WE'VE
LOTS
OF
FUN
TOGETHER CAUSE
LUCY
LIKES
TO
SCREW COUSIN
BILLY
CAUGHT
US
LAST
TIME WE
WERE
ONLY
HALF
WAY
THROUGH SCREWING
IN
THE
BACK
ROOM IF
ONLY
GRANDMA
KNEW WE
WERE
MESSING
WITH
HER
TOASTER SHE
WANTS
HER
TOAST
AND
TEA BETTER
PUT
IT
BACK
TOGETHER GET
THOSE
SCREWS
BACK
IN, HURRY!
HERE
IN
REDNECK
COUNTRY WAY
BACK
IN
THE
HILLS WERE
ALL
INTO
FAMILY THATS
HOW
WE
GETS
OUR
THRILLS WE
ALL
PLAY
TOGETHER IN
OUR
BACKWOODS
COUNTRY
BAND ERIC
PLAYS
THE
GUITAR WHILE
GRAMPY
CLAPS
HIS
HANDS
HERE
IN
REDNECK
COUNTRY WAY
BACK
IN
THE
HILLS WERE
ALL
INTO
FAMILY THATS
HOW
WE
GETS
OUR
THRILLS
I
LOVE
MY
MUFFIN
THERE'S
A
ROAD
THAT
RUNS
OUT
FROM
THE
PRAIRIE IT'S
A
ROAD
I'VE
NEVER
WALKED
BEFORE MOST
PEOPLE
CALL
ME
LARRY I
LOVE
MY
BEAVER
SHE'S
SO
HAIRY BUT
I
CAN'T
HELP
FEELIN'
THAT
THERE'S
SOMETHING
MORE
IF
I
AIN'T
DRINKIN'
YOU
MIGHT
JUST
CATCH
ME
THINKING THINKING
OF
WHERE
I
MIGHT
WANNA
GO I'LL
DRESS
MYSELF
RIGHT
PRETTY
AND
HEAD
OUT
TO
THE
CITY AT
LEAST
I
WOULD
IF
IT
WEREN'T
SO
FRIGGIN'
COLD
I
GOT
A
LITTLE
DOG
I
LIKE
TO
CALL
HER
MUFFIN I
GOT
A
BIG
DOG
I
JUST
CALL
IT
ASSHOLE THEIR
TOO
STUPID
TO
BE
TRAINED
BUT
I
LOVE
THEM
JUST
THE
SAME I
LOVE
MY
MUFFIN
AND
I
LOVE
MY
BIG
ASSHOLE
I
WAS
RAISED
HERE,
RIGHT
HERE
WHERE
I'M
STANDING I'VE
SHOVELED
SHIT
AND
LORD
I'VE
SHOVELED
SNOW I'M
REALLY
NOT
TOO
CHOOSY FOR
A
SCREW
I
JUST
SEE
LUCY SHE'S
MY
COUISIN
BUT
NO
ONE
NEEDS
TO
KNOW
SO
WON'T
YOU
LISTEN
LISTEN
TO
MY
STORY GRAB
A
BREW
AND
LET
ME
BARE
MY
SOUL WE
CAN
DRINK
UNTIL
THE
MORNING BUT
IF
YOU
FIND
THAT
BORING YOU
CAN
TOUCH
MY
MUFFIN
OR
RUB
ON
MY
ASSHOLE
BLOODY
BEAVER
SHE
ALWAYS
SEEMS
SO
ANGRY IT
MUST
BE
P.M.S THAT
GRUMPY
BLOODY
BEAVER CAUSES
ME
DISTRESS BEEN
TWENTY
EIGHT
DAYS
SINCE
I
LAID
IT I
NEEDS
A
PIECE
OF
TAIL SHE'S
GONNA
BE
FLOODING
ALL
OVER THE
DAM
IS
GONNA
FAIL SHE
WILL
NEED
TO
PLUG
IT IT'S
GONNA
MAKE
A
MESS I'LL
GET
THAT
BLOODY
BEAVER TO
THIS
I
MUST
CONFESS
BEAVER
BLOODY
BEAVER BEAVER
BLOODY
BEAVER IM
GONNA
EAT
THAT
BEAVER
TONIGHT THIS
I
GUARANTEE
WITH
ALL
THAT
HAIR
AND
BUCK
TEETH SHE
WILL
BE
MINE
TONIGHT I'M
GONNA
GET
A
PIECE
OF
TAIL BUT
SHE'S
GONNA
PUT
UP
A
FIGHT I'LL
HAVE
TO
SET
A
BETTER
TRAP IF
I'M
TO
CATCH
THIS
BITCH I'LL
GET
THAT
BLOODY
BEAVER I'M
GONNA
MAKE
HER
TWITCH ONE
DAY
IM
GONNA
CATCH
HER IN
A
MUCH
BETTER
MOOD I
WANTS
TO
HAVE
HER
FOR
DINNER I
LOVES
TO
HAVE
GREAT
FOOD
CHORUS
SPENT
ONE
MORE
WEEK
OF
TRYING SHE'S
GETTING
ME
SO
MAD I
BEEN
THINKING
OF
DOING SOMETHING
REALLY
BAD BUT
I
FINALLY
GOT
HER SHE'S
LAYING
IN
MY
TRUCK I
GOT
MY
PIECE
OF
TAIL I
GUESS
IT
WAS
GOOD
LUCK I
GOT
THAT
BLOODY
BEAVER SHE'S
BEEN
FLOODING
ME
OUT
FOR
WEEKS I
GONNA
COOK
HER
UP
TONIGHT WITH
SOME
CARROTTS,
TATERS
AND
LEEKS BEAVER
BLOODY
BEAVER
SHE'S
GONNA
NAG
ME
INTO
THE
GRAVE
SHE
NAGS
AT
ME
ALL
DAY SHE
NAGS
AT
ME
ALL
NIGHT
SHE
WANTS
ME
TO
DO
SOME
CHORES SHE
CAN
JUST
GO
AND
FLY
A
KITE
SHE'S
GONNA
NAG
ME
INTO
THE
GRAVE SHE'S
GONNA
NAG
ME
INTO
THE
GRAVE SHE'S
GONNA
NAG
ME
INTO
THE
GRAVE
SHE
WANTS
HER
FEET
MASSAGED I
AIN'T
TOUCHING
THOSE
SCABBY
THINGS
GONNA
PICK
HER
UP
SOME
MAXI
PADS YOU
KNOW,
THE
ONES
WITH
WINGS
SHE'S
GONNA
NAG
ME
INTO
THE
GRAVE SHE'S
GONNA
NAG
ME
INTO
THE
GRAVE SHE'S
GONNA
NAG
ME
INTO
THE
GRAVE
I
THINK
I'M
GOING
INSANE SHE'S
CAUSING
ME
TOO
MUCH
STRIFE
OH
GOD
I
NEED
A
HOLIDAY PREFERABLY
WITHOUT
THE
WIFE
SHE'S
GONNA
NAG
ME
INTO
THE
GRAVE SHE'S
GONNA
NAG
ME
INTO
THE
GRAVE SHE'S
GONNA
NAG
ME
INTO
THE
GRAVE
HIS
DADDY
WAS
A
HUNTER
IT'S
TIME
FOR
HIS
HUNTING
TRIP NOT
THAT
HE
FOLLOWS
THE
LAW HE
GO'S
A
HUNTING
WHEN
HE
WANTS AND
WATCH
OUT
FOR
COPS.....THATS
ALL IF
THEY
COULD
SEE
IN
MY
FREEZER IT'S
FULL
OF
ILLEGAL
GAME MOOSE,
DEER
AND
SOME
BEAVER AND
SOME
OTHER
THINGS
I
CAN'T
NAME
HIS
DADDY
WAS
A
HUNTER TAUGHT
HIM
EVERYTHING
HE
KNEW LIKE
HUNTIN,
FISHIN,
AND
DRINKIN
AND
EVEN
CURSING
TOO
HE'LL
BE
SITTING
IN
THE
BUSH WAITING
SO
PATIENTLY FOR
SOME
SORT
OF
CRITTER TO
TURN
AND
START
TO
FLEE HE
WILL
BRING
UP
HIS
GUN GET
THEM
IN
HIS
SIGHTS MAYBE
EVEN
TAKE
A
SHOT IF
HE
AINT
BEEN
DRINKIN
ALL
NIGHT
HIS
DADDY
WAS
A
HUNTER TAUGHT
HIM
EVERYTHING
HE
KNEW LIKE
HUNTIN,
FISHIN,
AND
DRINKIN
AND
EVEN
CURSING
TOO
IF
THE
ANIMALS
COULD
LAUGH THEY'D
BE
LAUGHING
RIGHT
OUT
LOUD CAUSE
NO
MATTER
HOW
HE
TRIES HE
CAN'T
DO
HIS
DADDY
PROUD DAMN
SURE
HE
CAN
CURSE HELLS
YES
HE
CAN
DRINK BUT
WHEN
IT
COMES
TO
HUNTING YOU
COULD
SAY
HE
REALLY
STINKS
IT'S
LUCKY
THAT
ALL
HIS
BUDDYS LIKE
TO
SHARE
WHAT
THEY
HAVE
SHOT CAUSE
IF
IT
WERE
LEFT
TO
HIM
WE'ED
HAVE
NOTHIN
TO
COOK
IN
THE
POT
BLOODY
BEAVER
BLUES
IT
WAS
LATE
AT
NIGHT MY
WIFE
WAS
ASLEEP OUT
OF
MY
BED I
DID
SLOWLY
CREEP I
MADE
SURE
I
DIDN'T MAKE
ONE
LITTLE
PEEP DANG
THAT
CREAKY
FLOOR THANK
GOD
SHE'S
ASLEEP
(chorus) NOT
LOOKING
FOR
TROUBLE JUST
LOOKING
FOR
SOME
FUN WHEN
I
GET
BACK
HOME DEAR
LORD
I
PRAY SHE
DON'T
GOT
MY
GUN I'M
CANADIAN
REDNECK
FROM
MY
HEAD
DOWN
TO
MY
SHOES OH
MAN
IVE
GOT
THEM
BLOODY
BEAVER
BLUES
OUT
TO
TOWN
I
GO IT'S
PARTY
TIME
FOR
ME OUT
WITH
THE
BOYS DERIK
AND
HARRY GONNA
MAKE
SOME
NOISE CHUG
A
LUG
A
FEW
BEERS WITH
NO
WIFE
IN
SIGHT I
GOT
ME
NO
FEARS
NOT
LOOKING
FOR
TROUBLE JUST
LOOKING
FOR
SOME
FUN WHEN
I
GET
BACK
HOME DEAR
LORD
I
PRAY SHE
DON'T
GOT
MY
GUN I'M
A
CANADIAN
REDNECK
FROM
MY
TOUQUE
DOWN
TO
MY
SNOW
SHOES OH
MAN
IVE
GOT
THEM
BLOODY
BEAVER
BLUES
NOW
I'M
DRUNKER
THAN
DRUNK ABOUT
TO
FALL
DOWN SURE
LOVE
THE
NIGHT
LIFE AND
ACTING
LIKE
A
CLOWN BUT
I
BETTER
CRAWL
BACK TO
WHATS-HER-NAME GO
BACK
TO
THE
HELLHOLE FROM
WHICH
I
CAME
chorus
NOT
LOOKING
FOR
TROUBLE JUST
LOOKING
FOR
SOME
FUN WHEN
I
GET
BACK
HOME DEAR
LORD
I
PRAY SHE
DON'T
GOT
MY
GUN I'M
A
CANADIAN
REDNECK
FROM
MY
SLED
TO
MY
BOOZE OH
LORD
DANG
THOSE
BLOODY
BEAVER
BLUES
REDNECK
MAFIA
THERE'S
A
REAL
TOUGH
GANG
IN
MY
HOMETOWN WATCH
YOUR
STEP
OR
THEY'LL
CUT
YOU
DOWN THREE
BRAVE
CANUCKS
HAVE
JOINED
FORCES IT'S
THE
REDNECK
MAFIA
ON
THEIR
HIGH
HORSES
NOW
THEY
DON'T
USE
GUNS
OR
EVEN
KNIVES BUT
THEY
CAN
STILL
DESTROY
LOTSA
LIVES THEY'LL
SLASH
YOU
TO
DEATH
WITH
THEIR
HOCKEY
STICKS THIS
IS
HOW
MOST
CANADIANS
GET
THEIR
KICKS
I
WAS
GONNA
JOIN
BUT
MEMBERSHIP
AIN'T
FREE AND
IF
YOU'RE
ONE
OF
THEM
YOU
GOT
TO
AGREE TO
PAY
THE
MEMBERSHIP
OR
YOU
CAN'T
GET
IN AND
THEN
YOU
WON'T
GET
A
REDNECK
MAFIA
PIN
DON
CHERRY
IS
A
MEMBER
AND
SO
IS
MY
DAD THAT
IS
WHY
I'M
CAREFUL
I
NEVER
GET
HIM
TOO
MAD IT'S
RUN
FROM
A
LITTLE
OLD
BRICK
HOUSE
WAY
UP
IN
NORTH
BAY AND
MY
GRANDMA'S
THE
RING
LEADER
SO
STAY
OUT
OF
HER
WAY
MAYBE
ONE
OF
THESE
DAYS
I'LL
JOIN
THEIR
CLUB OR
ONE
OF
THEM
WILL
BE
KILLED
AND
THEY'LL
NEED
A
SUB THEN
I
WON'T
HAVE
TO
PAY
THE
FIFTY
BUCKS
HOPEFULLY AND
I'LL
PROUDLY
CALL
MYSELF
A
REDNECK
MAFIA
BULLY
IF
YOU
ARE
LAUGHING
BOUT
WHAT
I
JUST
SAID YOU
MIGHT
FIND
A
MOOSE
HEAD
IN
YOUR
BED IF
THE
MEMBERSHIP
PRICE
COMES
DOWN
OR
MY
GRANDMA
DIES MAYBE
I'LL
BE
ONE
OF
THOSE
REDNECK
MAFIA
GUYS
THEME
FOR
A
REDNECK
CANADIAN
(INSTRUMENTAL)
REDNECK
CANADIAN
I'M
A
REDNECK
CANADIAN FROM
THE
BACKWOODS
OF
ONTARIO TELL
YOU
EVERYTHING
YOU
NEED
TO
KNOW
LIKE
EATING
OFF
THE
LAND AND
SHOVELLING
HEAPS
OF
SNOW TRAPPIN
LOTSA
BEAVER N'ICE
FISHING
FROM
A
HOLE
HOW
TO
PET
MY
MOOSE AND
MAKE
SOME
GROUNDHOG
STEW BOIL
EGGS
FROM
MY
GOOSE AND
ABOUT
MY
FAVOURITE
BREW
I'M
A
REDNECK
CANADIAN MY
MOONSHINE
TO
KEEP
ME
WARM WHILE
CLEARING
OFF
THE
ICE
ON
MY
IGLOO
I'M
ALWAYS
KEEPIN'
BUSY THOUGH
I
DON'T
HAVE
MUCH
TO
DO UNLESS
MY
COUSIN
LUCY HAS
SOMETHING
FOR
ME
TO
SCREW
TO
KILL
THE
TIME
HERE WE
MEND
OUR
PLAID
SHIRTS WE
DON'T
HAVE
ANY
T.V. CAUSE
HYDRO
COMES
IN
SPURTS
OUR
PUCKS
REALLY
SMELL WHICH
TAKES
AWAY
OUR
BREATH AND
HAVE
A
GAME
OF
HOCKEY UNTIL
WE
FREEZE
TO
DEATH
WE'RE
WHITER
THAN
WHITE FROM
THE
SUNSHINE
WE
LACK AND
EVERYONE
IS
A
FUR
TRADER OR
A
LUMBERJACK
WE
GOT
SCHOOLS
HERE BUT
THERE
SURE
AREN'T
MANY AND
WE
CAN'T
GO
TO
THE
BEACH BECAUSE
WE
DON'T
HAVE
ANY
WE
DON'T
GOT
ANY
COPS WE
GOT
MOUNTED
POLICE
INSTEAD SO
BEHAVE
OR
ELSE
THEIR
HORSES WILL
STOMP
YOU
TILL
YOUR
DEAD
SO
I
HOPE
YOU
LEARNED
A
LOT REMEMBER
IT'S
COLD
UP
HERE,
NOT
HOT I
GUESS
ALL
I
HAVE
LEFT
TO
SAY IS
HOW'S
IT
GOING
EH?
