CANADIAN STUDMUFFIN
Poetry
by Larry Graves
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(serious and humorous poetry I have written in the past few years) Sepember 20 TORMENT Will someone please buy my painting although it is no good If it had even one stroke of genius surely then they would Feeling unloved in this world is a full time job for me Living in reality with the knowledge that it's all just a fantasy I’m not a court jester I’m a walking contradiction in pain I’m not the clown you despise I’m a loving person you disdain If I looked through your eyes maybe I’d see things differently Yet if I saw through your eyes I’d see the torment you’ve given me Self pity is caused by people like you If only you knew the self loathing I do I could be a friend for life to anyone I’ve ever met but even one day as you’re friend I’d probably always regret The love of power the love of money They are not for me As I love laughter and being funny As you can plainly see FOR JAMIE 1991 laying
in the snow as
he bled Jamie
died pain  PUZZLE OF LIFE putting pieces of a puzzle together so supreme looking for answers in all that you dream understanding more and overstating less guiding hands that heal, guiding hands that bless moments in time stand still waves of calmness envelop you until peacefulness takes its hold on you yet there is more work to do questions never answered answers never questioned making sense of nonsense so hard for you all 157 STITCHES Girl, you really hurt me The night you stabbed me in the back The pain was so intense and then everything turned black When I awoke you were nowhere in sight To leave me laying there in a pool of warm blood Man, that's just not right 157 Stitches Give or take a stitch 157 Stitches Sewing me back together inch by inch by inch I thought we were bosom buddies I thought we were lifelong chums but you've upset me so much Now my stomach's always aching for the love we once had and I'm addicted to Tums 157 Stitches Give or take a stitch 157 Stitches Sewing me back together inch by inch by inch 157 Stitches Leaves a rather nasty itch I once believed our friendship would last forever but the knife in the back was the final straw Maybe you didn't know but attempted murder isn't nice and it's also against the law 157 Stitches Give or take a stitch 157 Stitches Sewing me back together inch by inch by inch 157 Stitches Leaves a rather nasty itch 157 Stitches You goddamn bitch SOMEDAY MY SHIP WILL COME IN someday my ship will come in where it has been all my life I do not know I do not care as long as it arrives before I die I'll sail off into the sunset in this beautiful boat with a little prayer for guidance so it damn well better stay afloat I will sail away far from here and now away from the stresses of this thing called life no more worries no more regrets leave behind all my sorrow not to mention all my debts ROOM OF FOOLS in a room full of fools I seem to fit right in with my stupid little hat and my stupid little grin all the other fools stare at me as they whimper quietly for attention and I can plainly see I belong here collecting my old age pension it was quite a life I led a gambler with no money always the know-it-all always so funny too busy playing the fool to worry about losing all the bets and if I regret anything now it's that I have no regrets staring at the walls in here brings back memories of a past I can't remember very well my life has crumbled to the ground as I sit here at the bottom basking in the darkness of my own living hell SALVATION the foundation of spirit is beyond
the light angels may appear to you in a moment
of distress merging together and falling apart for what is a chain without a link smiles are forthcoming to all the sad faces on earth as time is at hand for the rebirth (story about this poem at my coincidences page here) A CREATIVE MIND Everyone said he had a creative
mind Sitting in his castle of despair No goals to achieve with a cute little smile on his face So thrilled at the honor of not being part of the human race ANTS
IN
MY
PANTS there are ants in my underwear running around in circles gasping for fresh air BONELESS In a shallow grave even my dog sits nearby wagging his tail happily I giggle into the darkness as his favourite bone is buried along with me FALLING FOR YOU falling for youmy secret love no one knows except for God up above and although our hearts are far apart our souls are always beating as one I will never abandon you, no never no matter what the future will hold you are mine forever as our separate lives unfold FROM NOW ON Day time Here and now For you know Love today In your lifetime You'll be next to me IMAGINATION imagine having an imagination you could go wherever your
thoughts
take you do you have an imagination?
maybe you are too busy living your daily grind perhaps you would enjoy a bit of fantasy just use a little bit of imagination and you will see the wonders of your wondrous mind INSIDE slowly dying inside wanting to hide from the pain the pain that hurts so much I can't even feel it anymore in the fetal position for hours on end sucking on my thumb rolled up into a ball on the floor crying inside the tears collecting inside my heart never to be set free sadness will never part from the inside of me INTERNAL OUTRAGE In her handa diamond In his hand dirt Exchanging vows of regret Love flows endlessly but only one way Time stands still forever more until the final goodbyes What love there was begins to decay as the truth seeps into all the lies ISLAND OF PEACE stranded here on this hot desert
island I quickly realize it is not as bad as I thought it would be in fits of boredom I soon developed a special way to communicate with myself and it has done wonders for my health hardly a word spoken in anger never a word left unsaid no arguments that lead to me not talking to myself in bed This solitude that has trapped me forever has finally set my soul free I love my new freedom and I enjoy the loneliness of my own selfish company IT WAS IN THE TOILET It was in the toilet It was not of this earth Maybe some alien had just given birth It's a big mystery how it got in there It was black and fermented and growing hair I tried to flush it but there was no way in hell It was bigger than a breadbox and boy, did it smell It made a strange noise a gurgling sound I looked for the plunger but it could not be found So I put on some gloves and grabbed it real quick I was very annoyed not to mention very sick The ending is gory and I just have to say I learned my lesson on this miserable, rotten day I shook it and shook it until it exploded into bits Never have grandpa over when he has the shits LOVE IS THE KEY You spew forth your hatred On a daily basis So numb to the possibility of what that incases You think everyone is ugly including yourself Take a good look in the mirror and then an even better look at your mental health I don't know where these words flow from and some of the rhymes might be dumb Yet they sure make a whole lot of sense to me unlike your flapping lips flaying in the wind With your paranoid illusions being heard constantly This is where I should lighten up a bit and do my regular comedy shit but I'm going to fool you all by not playing the fool I'm going to be sensitive, loving and thought provoking and I know that is so uncool Love is the key that will kill all the hate Love is the key so get yours before it's too late Love is the key that will always surround you Love is the key that will open the door and get you through MAN TO MAN
lying
beside you it
is truly the best and you will be back in her arms listening to her constantly yap but that is okay for we are not gay we are just having a little nap MEMORY LANE walking down memory lanelooking back at my past now I marvel at how all this time has gone by so fast and a snicker a chuckle a sigh or two is all I can think of to do for happily wasting away all the years loving you IN A DREAM I went for a ride
in a dream I had Although I was scared to death the ride was not that bad There was a loving force with me for the ride Always with me a mysterious companion by my side I flew up to the stars and gazed down at the earth I saw my own death I witnessed my own birth I talked to strangers who I’ve always known I was all by myself yet I was not alone this dream was special not some kind of fantasy this dream was all about giving and this dream was given to me IN MEMORY OF PIXIE THE POODLE Dear Mom I've run away from home This time it's for good The other times were just practice runs I'll miss your home cooked meals not to mention my college funds Is Dad still mad at me? God, it was gory OLD MAN ON THE STREET all but forgotten as he walks down the busy street no one to give him a hug of compassion his coat is full of holes and thirty years out of fashion he stands at the corner where all his friends used to meet but they've all seemingly vanished and there is no one to greet his aching heart keeps pounding although he wonders why nothing to do as the days pass on except to stare for hours on end at God's beautiful sky and a glimpse of the uncaring people who keep on walking by SAFE Don't go here and don't go there and the hours go by and so do the days, months and years age gracefully and die, my love alone in your cocoon of fears the loneliness that haunts you is no one's fault but your own at least you are safe from all that could harm you on the outside of your home and I'd pity you if I had a reason to but the life you lead you chose yourself and there is no one to blame except you for your declining health SWIMMING
UPSTREAM in a panic again hoping this doesn't last as I am getting nowhere fast tired of the fight to stay alive even though deep inside I want to survive but I keep on falling back down Calling for help but no one hears Second by second my death nears When out of the blue a hand lifts my spirits and my strength returns in full force finally there is no more strife I know I will make it now I will reach the top somehow until I am gently pushed back into the rapids to struggle through another day of my life BREAKFAST AT THE INSTITUTION This game of lunacy Doctor Moore said I was insane I'll get out of this demented place I am not the least bit crazy As I am strapped into my seat Mouth gagged and hands tied down Damn, these Corn Flakes are hard to eat THEATER OF DEATH Death shown film of your life you sit all alone constantly being blamed for things that are not your fault deaththe final curtain the final insult THE LIFE I LEAD oh, the life I lead you would not believe the women surrounding my well sculptured body the things they say and do always so naughty oh the life I lead you'd be full of jealousy the beautiful ladies wearing next to nothin' I guess that's why they call me the Canadian Studmuffin and then the dream ends as suddenly as it had begun reality hits I'm no Don Juan it's back to reality and the end of all my fun ALONE A deadly silence fills the house that once was our home I sit here motionless staring at the bare walls alone No wife to love No kids to cherish No dog to pet The last few days I'm trying so hard to forget Anger fills my soul but I leave enough room for regret I blame myself and no one else for this heart with a gaping hole all alone forever more just me my memories and this rotting floor THE SOCK SONG I'm
taking my socks off I
could buy you flowers So
I'm taking off my socks Just sit there and enjoy the show If you're feeling kind of kinky maybe later you can tickle my toe THE BOAT In the middle of the ocean Stranded on a leaking boat Giving up on life Giving up on hope Yet deep within my soul Stir emotions to survive I will not go down without a struggle I want to stay alive I thrash and splash and kick and scream And pray that this is all a bad dream yet this is not a dream this is reality and all I can see now is the water closing in on me
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